Run...
What's happening?
Attack!
Attack...
General, those are real bandits!
Take the Princess away
Chief, those two are the Princess and the General
Let's elope in this chaos
No one will know if you take me away
I don't want to be Lady Far Far Away
Your Highness
Yan
Get out of the way
Where are the Jade and the Pearl?
He won't say
Beat him up, Ava
Still so tight-lipped?
It's because you didn't even hit him, idiot!
Really?
Tar
Let me do it
Get a taste of this!
I can't believe you're this tight-lipped and thick-skinned
What a pair of dumbass!
One can't see close up
And the other can't see from afar
Of course he won't tell a thing
Tell you what, unlike them
My eyes are fine
You don't know where the Jade and the Pearl are?
How about the Pearl and the Jade?
You think I'm kidding?
Get me a knife!
Do you know what's special about this knife?
It makes a clean cut
One strike and your head will fall off with a clean drop
Hit the ground and bounce to the side of your body
You'll regret it when you see your headless self
Why didn'r you tell me earlier?
What the heck
Sending letters like this every day...
Is he a psycho or what?
Why can't he come straight to me?
Chief, it might be a love letter
Yeah I'm sure that Bangit Wingold
Has a crush on you
Really? He does?
Hey, it's a letter to declare war
It's a love letter
It says"Declaration of War"
Are you all illiterate?
I thought it's a diagram or something
Is it sent to the wrong place? What's inside?
It says...
You've been ignored my warning of surrender
I now declare war on the 15th of this month
On the day I will have San Niang
San Niang what?
It says he wants to ravage San Niang
Ravage me?
- Ravage our Chief? - He's looking to be killed
Quiet
It's all your fault, none of you weridos can read
Now we're in this mess
Think of something
And see if we can win this battle
Would you two mind helping me up?
Alright
Looking at the lay of land here, it's hopeless
You're surrounded by trees
If they choose to use fire weapons
Then you'll all dead
I believe you should attack rather than defend
I don't quite get it, but carry on
If you believe in me, Chief
I'll use all I know to help you
So that you're left untouched
You're afraid I'll be ravaged?
Yes, and I'm more afraid of losing the Princess
So if I help you this time
I hope you can promise
To let me go look for the Princess
Sure, you can do whatever you like if we win this battle
I'm San Niang
I'm Cheng Qian
Cheng Qian, I'm impressed
Yet before we succeed
Don't ever think I'm going to let you go
Put him back to the cell
Yes, this way please
Here's your declaration
This way please
I, Ling
Am a talented storyteller
I guess I'm too talented, that's why I have no luck
I haven't done well in either business or love
My life is worthless
There is nothing left for me
I decide to give my life a dramatic ending
Goodbye my life
The gods are jealous of genius like me
What's going on?
Help!
I'm drowning!
Do you have common sense?
I'm about to hang myself, why you still pull the rope?
Stop laughing!
I get it
Dear God, you just won't let me die so soon, right?
I'll take your silence as affirmation
We'll fight it out another day
What are you trying to do?
You won't let me die and now won't even leave me alone
Stop following me!
I... I want to ask you who I am
How am I supposed to know? We've just met
Just stand there and don't move
The police will patrol around here soon
Stand still
Don't follow me...
Hey
Who am I?
What's wrong with you?
I need to show her
My true colours
You want to tell me that you will show me your true colours?
Damn it. She knows my thoughts
I will let you see my vicious side
Who am I?
Why am I even paying attention to her?
It's raining like cats and dogs outside
A girl is all alone in flimsy clothes
That will be soaked in a second
Should the wind blows
She will be left cold and shivering
And feel lost in the world
She'd rather be dead. Hahaha...
First thing first
You won't be freeloading here
It just so happens that I need an assistant
You can come work for me
But who exactly am I?
Why are you still asking me this?
Because I really want to know
I used to have a doggie called Lucky
She died because she's trying to protect me from a pig
Let's call you Lucky then
Hopefully you can bring me luck
If I'm Lucky, then who are you?
Finally you're asking me
Me, Ling, a renowned storyteller in town
At this point, she will surely ask
Why?
Good question
Let me tell you
The man right in front of you
Is a wordly and knowledgeable genius
With his terrific oratory skills, he's renowned in storytelling circles
He is loved by all
And admired by many
Thank you, oh it's you again
Thank you so much
Who are you shaking hands with?
Ignorant fool. As a performer
One must always maintain his performing state of mind
You can't let yourself go for even a second
Always remember there is audience before you
That's how you train yourself up
As my assistant
You must learn this too, got it?
Off to work now
Lucky, state of mind!
What state of mind?
Performance state of mind!
The story of Yangtze River, Episode 109
Last time, we talked about crossing the turbulent Yangtze waters
Passing deep gorges
While riding on a horse, to arrive at Xiling Gorge
We found that the people there are simple and primitive
The women were... Hey Ho Hey Ho
Today, I will be telling the story of a slutty woman
You may not know that a slutty woman has a certain look
A round face does well in social circles
With one eye larger than the other, they're hard to please
Top lip thin and bottom lip heavy
Means they'll go after your buddy
See you later for the 110th episode of the story of Yangtze River
So delicious!
That ugly monster is Ximen
Take a look at him. He's a total two-face
In a while he'll come over and pretend we're friends
Where?
- Ximen - Ling
- Hello. Have a sit - Hello. Have a sit
Oh god, Ling
Why are you eating such a plain bun?
Fleur
Yes
Bring Ling our leftovers
Okay
But I thought that was for the dogs?
No, that's not quite right
Our dog eats too well
Now he's like a pig
We should feed him buns instead
I'm not mocking you, Ling
I can tell the difference
That's perfect
He doesn't like eating our leftovers
I don't mind
- Throw it away - Alright
I said throw it away
Your signature right there please, Mr. Zhou
You're spending quite a lot of my sponsorship
Why do you need so much on promotion?
Listen up
The story of Yangtze River, brought to you by Treasure Trove
Doesn't that sound grand?
Yeah right
You are our only sponsorship, of course it sounds grand
Look, she is just a little girl
She's just playing with you Mr. Zhou
But as a promoter
One does need to be playful
I'm not so interested in promoting Treasure Trove itself
As promoting my high-quality jades and precious stones
They look pretty standard to me
The one I have is better than any of those
Wow not bad
Why don't you sell it to me silly girl?
You silly man, I bet you're not a good guy
She has mental problems, she knows nothing
Don't mind her
I never really wanted to sponsor you
I don't mind her, but I mind you
How dare you come and mess around with me?
- Shoo, go away - Mr... Mr. Zhou
Chief
Call me San Niang
San Niang, you certainly have a sense of humour
I've been captured, how can I take you with me and leave?
I'll release you
Then you can take me with you
Thank you for your kindness, Chief
If I find the Princess I will definitely come back to thank you
Easy, daylight makes travelling much easier
What do you mean?
Let's chat for a while
Cheers
I was 14 when I met my boyfriend
I was very poor back then
He said I'd never be hungry again if I stay with him
So I followed him and became a thief
To save his buddies
He got into a fight with the police and got seriously injured
Before he died
He asked me to take good care of his buddies
Why's that?
Why did he leave without a word for me?
I'd been with him for 14 years
Why didn't he leave a word for me with his last breath?
Stop!
Are you trying to run away?
You said you'd release me
Bullshit. Why on earth would I release you?
Ridiculous! Treat me like a fool? Boys
He said a lot of people would come for his stories
In fact there is not one single person
He kept saying how profound he is, but he's nothing
You said you don't rememeber a thing
How come you remember everything I said?
I have amnesia but I'm not an idiot
Even a retard can tell
This place got nothing but broken roof and windows
You can't live in this awful place
And if your business was doing so well
You would have moved out to the city
You won't stay here for sure, right?
I didn't lie
I only spoke of my dreams
Do you have to accused of someone who have dreams?
What's that burning smell?
Oh god!
I couldn't end my life when I met you
Now I have no clients or sponsors
And even my last grains of rice have been burnt
What do you want?
I want to eat chicken, do you have any?
I want one
I want one plump, big, fatty chicken
A plump, big, fatty chicken
It's a tough decision, Deal
Give me the chicken first
Right away
You...
You're back
Where did you get the chicken?
I traded it with my Jade
You said you want to eat chicken
You use that fine piece of jade to exchange one chicken?
It was a good deal, wasn't it?
Come on, eat up
Tuck in
Thank you
In the middle of no where, a country calls Far Far Away
Where there are no people, no water, nor farmland
Neither gold nor silver, nothing at all
People got nothing to eat but human brains
That's entertaining, let me drop it down
The people there...
Wait...
Ling is telling a story over there
It's really scary. Someone's even fainted
"Bury in the heavens"means to put a woman
On top of a mountain, totally exposed to nature
Where her flesh will be pecked at by eagles
Peck, peck, peck...
Two immoral people make one slutty whore... Where's everybody?
Save the slut to yourself
Bring over this person
So that her head appears
And the hammer drops with s single strike
That's spectacular...
Look, there's lots of money
You must be a genius to think of such a horror story!
What's your story tomorrow?
I can't believe she asked me back
We'll have a good meal first
You go straight to bed after that and I'll come up with something
He said he'd think of something if I went to bed early
This is where we are right now
We'll cross the river
Obscuring ourselves around the forest
Then attack from both sides
We'll catch them off guard
Let's do it according to your plan
Our fate is in your hands, including mine
Thanks for trusting me. My life is no longer a concern
Stop
Stay alert
Attack!
Are you okay?
I've been injured
How is it?
It hurts a lot
Let me help you
Be careful
Yeah! We won!
Are you alright?
Thank goodness I got you
Well done
Capture Wingold
Yes
Thank you General
Cheers Brothers
Now that I'm wearing this wedding gown
Do I look like your Princess Yan?
The wedding gown is indeed Princess Yan's
I'm asking you, do I look like her?
The gown belongs to Princess Yan
Now that I have snatched it
It is mine!
Even if you're wearing it, you're still not a princess
Especially it's a torn gown
So I can never be a princess?
Not even once?
I want you to treat me however you treat the princess
Please, just once
Every woman wants to...
be treated like a princess
I never have that experience before
Just one time
You're drunk
Chief, I have kept my promise
I come to say farewell
I'm breaking my deal. You will stay
Then you can kill me
What do you want?
What do you want to do?
You keep shifting your thoughts
Do you actually know what you want?
Leave right now
Then I will take my leave
Before you go
Call me San Niang one last time
San Niang
Be gentle
San... Niang...
Thank you
Cheng Qin
You're not trying to break your promise, are you?
Take me with you. I'm not drunk this time
I don't want to spend the rest of my life here
I want a life of my own
I'll come with you to look for the Princess
Why?
I know this place
I can be your guide
Thank you San Niang
Promise me one thing though
If you can't find the Princess
Could you travel around the world with me?
Chief...
I will miss you boys
Even though you're all dumb and illiterate
After the battle with Wingold
I'm sure you'll all be fine
We'll take good care of ourselves
Keep the Chief's sword safe with you
Don't worry Chief
Let's go
Keep it up
I'm fine
We're here at last
Let's have a roast today
And a buffet tomorrow
Celebrate each and every day
End of the advertisement
We did so well today
We have two chickens, vegetables and meat
Don't forget the fish
The chicken inside, and the guy is still outside
You are the guy or the chicken?
The guy
Isn't it the time to cook?
- Cooking? - Sure
I feel so blessed
I'm so full that my belly's about to burst
You're blessed already? Reach for the stars!
If I win this year's storytelling competition
And gain fame and fortune
We can move into a big house in the city
Behave yourself Sir
I can't imagine what you will do when you see a beauty
Where did you get this jade?
Did a girl give it to you?
None of your business
I'm a bandit, remember. The Jade belongs to you, let's go
Mayor, Ling and Lucky want to apply for the competition
You're the renowned storyteller Ling
Sign here, come
Use this, it took me the while night to make it
I must make good use of this pen
To write a magnificent story and win this competition
Higher
- So high... - It's because you're tall
Your Highness
At last, I've found you
Let go of me, who are you?
I'm General Cheng who accompanied you to the West
- Don't you remember? - Let go
Stop messing around or I'll call the police
Move
- Ling - Princess
I'm not a princess, my name is Lucky
You're the Princess
Tell him to let go
I order you to let go
Yes, Your Highness
- Are you alright? - Well
Let's go
Tell him not to follow us
I order you not to chase us
Let's go
Hey, you're not allowed to chase
But she didn't say you're not allowed to trail behind
Right, thanks San Niang
I'm a bandit, remember
The Princess looks pretty common in commoner's clothes
I think you've dirtied yourself
Thank you
Apologies for interrupting
Mr. Ling
Could you give me a chance?
I have failed to protect you, Your Highness
Enough! I'm not a princess, I'm Lucky
And I'm happy right now
You went through an accident, that's why you have amnesia
Do you remember our tokens of love?
That jade is mine
It originally belonged to me
The Emperor gave you this pearl as the dowry
We made wishes on the hill
We pretended to get married
We kissed and fell in love
In a way that the heavens
Nor our families would allow
He... He kissed me
It's alright
Yan
How could you forget me?
It's all your fault
You made all the three of us unhappy
There is only one solution
I'll kill you
- Calm down - No
Kill me
You said you'd come with me to find the Princess
Now we have, you can leave
She's not the Princess, she's Lucky
She doesn't even know you
The Princess you're looking for no longer exists. Just give up
I don't care if she knows me
She's always my princess
One final question
Have you ever thought
That you'd come travel around with me if you didn't find her?
No
That hurts
Do you recognise me now?
Thank you for saving us
Otherwise Ling and I may have died
You should thank him, Ling
Thank you
Are you alright?
My head hurts
You have no chance with the Princess even if she won't come with me
We wanted to change her fate
But it turns that our fates have changed
And we can do nothing about her
Ling
Would you please let go?
You're back
Are you alright?
Hey look
I've prepared your clothes for tonight's competition.
It's really pretty
Your Highness, it's time for you to go
What are you doing?
I told you I'm not the Princess
Why don't we rehearse tonight's story?
You are Princess Yan of the royal family
You were on your way to Far Far Away to become a queen
You'll be served by the others
And a good life awaits
Go. Lucky is just a doggie I had
I'm not leaving
I have no where else to go
Look how happy we are now
Our lives are getting better
You said we can move into the city
After you win the storytelling competition
And hire maids for me. Do you remember?
What's wrong with you?
Every woman in the world wants to be a princess
I'm Lucky
I just leant how to be Lucky
I just leant how to clean, slaughter chickens
How to cook
And be your assistant
I didn't know who I was before
You said I was Lucky
And now I'm not
What am I best at? I'm best at lying
I'm no talented storyteller. I'm nothing
You think I'm in my"performing state of mind"
When I'm talking to myself all day?
I'm just so broke I've gone crazy!
I'm not a princess
Don't make me this princess
And marry me off to the West
Did you say that Western people eat human brains?
And bullying women too
Then why are you making me go there?
Those were just things you said in your sleep
There's a guy who's a head taller than me
Plus ten times more handsome
And you'd rather believe a midget like me?
Aren't you afraid that he's cheating me?
I'm only a guy who tells stories on the side of the street
No woman would want me.
There's no point in you staying
I'm not going to waste my breath
Leave! I said go away!
No! Don't kick me out!
I don't want to see you anymore
I want to be Lucky
Go away... I don't want Lucky anymore.
Go
I am Lucky, please don't kick me out
The finals in the storytelling competition
They are Ling and Lucky
They must be getting into character
Let's cheer them on
I, Ling
No longer have any story to tell
- You're kidding. - What's going on?
I know you don't want me anymore
But let me help you...
finish telling this story
And fulfil your dream before I leave?
This story
Is about a man
And a dog that appeared on his doorstep
No, not a dog
Right, it should be a beautiful woman who appeared
One who doesn't know how to do any chores
The Emperor's word is arriving
Behold
Wow, such good acting
They even made up an imperial edict
You fool! It's indeed an imperial edict
Be serious everyone
Be quiet
This is a message for Princess Yan and General Cheng
I have been sent by the Emperor to speak on his behalf
Princess Yan encountered bandits on her journey to get married
General Cheng shall compensate his fault
By continuing the journey to Far Far Away
Let there be no delay or losses. That's all
Sir Zhang
The Princess fell down the mountain
And lost her memory
How did that happen?
May I speak to her first?
Hurry
The Princess still has to sumbit to her fate no matter what
It's enough that only I remember
What happened between us
The Princess and I
Exchanged the Jade and the Pearl as tokens of love
Now the items are returned to the owners
We can act like none of it ever happened
Since she no longer has feelings
The Jade and the Pearl lost their meanings
San Niang
I'm afraid they might evoke memories
Let me destroy them for you
No
I remember the wish I made under the shooting star
Is that all General's wishes would come true
My wish at the time
Is that all Princess's wishes would come true
Sorry
But thank you
Thank you for giving me Lucky
Apologies for the tardiness, Your Highness
From then on, the Princess has vanished from my life
The General and the Princess continued their journey
They pasted through deserts and plains
And reach the border of Far Far Away at last
The lovers knew that they were soon to part
General
What are you doing?
General, why don't you elope with the Princess?
Do you know the consequence of eloping?
Yes. Happiness
Being able to be with the one you love
And live happily ever after
The Emperor will go after us
Father once said
That fate looks down upon those who give in
And I won't give in
I
Will never elope with the Princess
Even if I were to risk being beheaded
I'll request the Emperor to grant us marriage
That's great, General!
The General and the Princess chose to go back and ask for The Emperor's mercy
The Emperor was moved by their love
And decided to grant them marriage
The General and the Princess live happily ever after
Like a match made in heaven
Are they really as happy as you depict?
To believe is a form of happiness
Everyone has a story of his own
The content maybe the same, but the version differs
I'm not a princess, but I remember a moment
When a man made me feel like one
Just a brief moment and that will suffice